Obsessed with your height!

You couldn't get through a single conversation with me without mentioning your height. And you weren't freakishly tall either! The final straw was when you almost made it to the end of our phone call before saying, "Yeah, I'm headed out to do a little Christmas shopping. Good thing I'm 6'1" and can see over the crowd."

Calm down, dude. You're not like Conan's height.

Cell phone leaver-onner!

You refused to turn off your cellphone at the movies.

Credit card jerk!

You added me to your credit card account to help me build credit, then you maxed it out and didn't make a payment! Thanks.

Pierced jerk!

You had a pierced penis and used to say things like, “I never want to hear you complain about childbirth, because I’ve been through the worst pain a person can experience.”