Bungee suicide attempt!
You tried to kill yourself in the shower. By hanging yourself. With a bungee cord.
You did not succeed.
Labels:
bungee,
Holiday cheer,
Too dumb to die?
Funeral director who likes daiquiris!
Canadian Wheat Board fan!
You spent half the night discussing what the Canadian Wheat Board meant to you, then stole my identity and my shoes.
Labels:
agriculture,
AND your shoes?,
Canada,
Identity theft,
shoe theft
Ketchup packet lover!
You would only use the fast food ketchup packets and refused to use our ketchup at home because it was "too cold."
Cracked my knuckles!
After we fell asleep after having sex for the first time, I woke up to find you cracking my knuckles.
Labels:
Crack kills,
Don't touch me while I sleep,
Knuckles,
sex,
Sleeping in
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