Cracked my knuckles!

After we fell asleep after having sex for the first time, I woke up to find you cracking my knuckles.

Psychic believer!

You refused to get out of bed one day based on what your psychic said. Good day, ma'am.

Shampoo miser!

I'm not sure that making a single bottle of shampoo last for four years is something to celebrate.

Cartoon MILF enthusiast!

I wish you hadn't admitted you were turned on by Marge Simpson in Playboy.

Colonic describer!

Thanks for that vivid word picture about your colonic.

Willing to disobey mom for some action!

You told me, "My mom won't let me marry a non-Jew, but that doesn't have to stop us from having sex tonight."

This is not a great line on a first date.

Girl kiss over-reactor!

I told you I'd kissed a girl once in college and you told be you didn't know how to feel about me being a lesbian.